ok, it's true, you have found me in one of my cynical moments. read on.

As usual, I am frustrated by my inability to express myself.

maybe if i rant for a while, it will get better...

and now for the

Rant on Men's Clothing

i don't know about other people, but throughout my life, i have
had certain pieces of clothing that just fit my personality. back when
i was a little proto-skater boy, i had these awesome turquoise, baggy
pants. they were awesome! and then there were the vision street
wear shorts. you remember, of course.

oh yeah, i was ranting.. so i am looking for some interesting,
slightly theatrical clothes to wear. nothing exotic, just some
nice dark-dark-green or blackish baggy pants, with enough
thickness to shield me from the world. and what do i find, nothing
but prep-boy "dockers" or whatever. disgusting.
[3]

i guess clothing is kind of like love: you can't go looking for it,
for it to be good, it just has to happen.

so, i guess this is the signal that i am drifting into the

how many people are real? when someone comes up to you
and asks "how are you".. do they really want to know all your
personal existential hangups? no, they are just
signaling their acknowledgement of your existence [0].

(yes, we are that weak.)

even when you are having a conversation with one of your
"friends", how often do you strip away all the shitty baggage and
fuckin' tell them what's on your mind? [1] you don't: and you
know why? because they don't care. they are too fucking superficial
to care.

being superficial is a way to be safe.
it is a wall. to guard you from the world,
to guard you from yourself.

i really wanted to tie in the

you know what really pisses me off? 99% of the people
i see have no intensity for living. damn it's annoying to
be surrounded by people who are totally apathetic.[2] are you
afraid to live ?

this is really the

what is it to be passionate?
it is to care.
profoundly.

passion fuels the fires of our souls.

it is what makes life worth living
without passion, there can be no beauty.


imagine the moonlight sonata.
hear the determined expression
of grief and hope.

oh my, this is turning into the

What's wrong with you? What's wrong with everybody in this crazy place?

start paying attention.
revel in existence.
can you enjoy breathing ?
the cool caress of the night?

boring.

add excitement to life
be bizzare.

before you can love someone else, you must first love yourself

Rant on the Tragic

"Goodnight sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

(from an unknown source)

"The Young Boy and the Star Fish" A elderly man was taking a sunrise walk along the beach the morning following a storm. The beach was littered with thousands of starfish who had been tossed ashore in the storm's violent waves. In the distance the man caught sight of a young boy who seemed to be dancing along the waves. As he got closer he saw that the young boy was picking up star fish from the sand and gently tossing them back into the ocean.

"What are you doing?" the man asked of the boy.

"The sun is coming up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die," replied the young boy.

"But young man, there are miles and miles of beach with starfish all along. You can't possibly make a difference."

The young boy bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it lovingly back into the ocean past the breaking waves.

"It made a difference for that one," he replied.

Footnotes

[1] who does this remind you of? [grin]

[2] further, HTML sucks. Netscape should just read LaTeX.

[3] (a year later) I *found* some pants, army surplus pants rawk.